It’s been ten years since the Dana plane crash took away my best friend, my twin sister Inna Kaltum. It broke my heart to lose her. We never said goodbye.
I have heard people say time flies over us but leaves its shadow behind. I guess this shadow would be my companion for life. The pain I felt that day is too extreme to describe. Thinking about it now, I know it was only by the grace of Almighty Allah that I was able to get through it.
I recently came across the phrase “twinless twins”, and the person who coined this could not be more apt. Life can be very lonely when you lose a constant companion; it’s like losing one arm but not accepting the reality that it’s gone and it’s never coming back.
To this day, I occasionally buy items in pairs and keep the second one for a long time, maybe subconsciously. I feel guilty if I don’t get one for her. Birthdays have also been celebrated with mixed feelings. I always end up crying for the missing half of me who should be celebrating as well.
I believe twins literally do not know how to exist as a lone individual, and you always feel the need to represent two people. It’s weird but true. The intensity of the bond between twins can only be understood by other twins.
Alhamdullilah, we have survived ten years, during which there have been many losses in the form of deaths, the end of relationships/friendships and the beginning of new ones. All of them taught me a valuable life lesson “the outcome of all situations is in the hands of our creator”.
We lost Baba, Ajus, Aunty Yakaa, Ummi Yobe and many others (May Allah forgive them). Farida was the first to name her daughter Kaltum, then Hajjo, Hauwau, Musa, Umar and shortly after Shafa Ladan who passed away a year ago), what a great way to be honoured!
A little bit of Inna will always live with me, family and friends have reluctantly embraced me, like Umar Y find it very difficult to come to the house, but for the most part, they have been pillars of strength for our entire family.
Many deserve special mention, particularly Farida, Hadiza Junaidu, Aisha Yarema, Zahra Bunu, the Kuqaura House girls, Rukky Bello, Indoh Sampati, Amina Shuaibu, Hadiza Halliru, Jamila Rumah, Jamila Mohammed, Fati Shamaki, Nka, Jumoke and Hajara Imam. I want to say thank you for always being there for us.
Every day I find Inna with me in many ways. It could be a song that stirs up memories or just a flashback of something shared. Still, I never try to stop the thoughts as it’s my way of spending time with her- Inna Kaltum is “Forever in our Hearts”, and we remember her every day with love.
My heart goes out to Mama for all the pain she has gracefully endured and to my siblings. Our family chain may be broken because of those that left us behind, but Inshaa Allah, it would link again when we reunite in Jannah.